King Monkey Rants

Andy Warhol still knocking them dead!

2011-02-17T20:34:00.003-05:00

Thanks for still rocking, Andy Warhol! Your self-portrait, described as 'recently rediscovered' brought in a beautiful $17 million and that is just fabulous. Below is a terrific video that was shot during the unveiling of the painting. Andy would have loved it - with the stock tickers all around and the corporate logos. Magnificent!

Penguins rule!

2011-01-12T16:27:00.003-05:00

Let's get this video some more views. An important work from a talented young visionary. "Brilliant" says People Magazine. "Riveting" says National Geographic. Enjoy.

Shooting pool

2011-01-08T21:40:00.002-05:00

Teaching the little ones how to shoot pool is a lot of fun!

Grilled cheese... with pastrami?!

2010-12-10T13:46:00.002-05:00

OK! Every now and then, the guy I work with wants me to order him a sandwich from the deli down the block. He insists on getting a 'grilled cheese with a little bit of pastrami.'

But, of course, the deli makes a pastrami sandwich with a little bit of cheese. Time after time... again and again. No matter how I explain this to them or try to get it right - pastrami sandwich with a little cheese.

So what do I care... right? It isn't my sandwich and I hardly eat anything for lunch. So what't the problem with the sandwich?

PRICE! Simple as that a grilled cheese with a little pastrami costs less than a pastrami with a little cheese - so PAY! So T started paying as much for a grilled cheese with a little pastrami and BANG - now they get it right every time!

Record setting diamond sells at auction...

2010-12-08T21:30:00.004-05:00

...for $46.16 million HELLO! It was purchased by a British billionaire who is going to add it to his collection. Amazing! No one had seen the diamond for 60 years, but it was recently auctioned at Sotheby's Geneva where the record setting Pink diamond weighed in at over 24 carats - so at $46 million - less than $2 million a carat. I am sure that is a bargain any billionaire would love.

So what does one do with such an incredible, one-of-a-kind item. According the the buyer, the diamond is the most beautiful jewel he has ever seen. Will it land in some buxom beauty's belly button? Or... does he prefer flat-chested women?

Soup of the Day

2010-04-27T12:56:00.000-04:00

Another soup day! Wish the weather would improve... Chicken Noodle, Rice and Red Bean, Spinach with White Bean, Split Pea. I do not want ANY of those soups. How about a nice Wonton?

Lunch Blog - Soup Report

2010-04-21T18:59:00.002-04:00

Today Barrels had Chicken Noodle, Pasta Fagioli, Spinach and White Bean and Tomato Bisque. Hmmmm. When I was asked what the soups were, I replied, "Chicks that are nude, pasta for fools, popeye with beans and Thomas Bisque." What?

My Refrigerator - First in a Series

2009-09-22T11:03:00.001-04:00

This is my refrigerator. It is a snap shot of my life.

Front End Damage

2009-09-01T16:45:00.002-04:00

The latest happy stack o' advertising I found in my browser.
Both feature some front end damage. Hmmmm...

Luther - The Coca Cola Kid

2009-08-24T20:47:00.002-04:00

This is my friend Luther. The last time I was in Texas, he bought me a cowboy hat! He trades hugs for bottles of Coca Cola and may possibly hold the world's record for most hugs given - over 250.000 by his estimate. One quarter of a million hugs served!

I am fat...

2009-06-19T11:44:00.003-04:00

I would sure like to drop 30 pounds without having to cut off my head. Gotta walk, gotta swim, gotta eat like a bug... and maybe eat bugs, I don't know...

Ad-Stacks

2009-06-15T19:30:00.003-04:00

I find strange combinations of internet ads when I am online. Whether it is two different marketing messages - like advertising Viagra next to Neo-Pets - or mixed images like this... SHE's BUFF!

Back to Blogs

2009-01-24T10:28:00.003-05:00

Thanks for all your support! So many great things are happening and so many great projects have begun. Seeing the miles of smiles we have been generating is our reward!

I will be publishing regular updates becuz there is just so much going on. One of the most exciting new projects is the Weird Arts Weekend in Ventnor. This is going to be a lot of fun - Ventnor's FIRST Beach Art Show. It has never been done before.

Instead of paintings, photos and craft items, the art show will include painted surf boards, sculpture and sand castles. One of the sculpture categories will be The Jersey Devil! I can't wait to see those Devils in the dunes.

I will be displaying my skull casts that were poured on the Ventnor Beach and decorated with shells from the shore. I had always wanted to use shells in art since there is a vast resource at my feet here in Ventnor, and this is what I came up with.

Quote of the Week

2008-07-03T09:19:00.000-04:00

Isn't it strange that iGoogle is still so much fun?! I certainly thought the novelty of widgets and gizmos would have worn off, but then again I used to love the concept of Channels once upon a time... anyone remember that?

Meanwhile, Confucius and Shakespeare are still serving up gems. I am thinking of putting Shakespeare on top next week, but HEY LET'S NOT GET CRAZY!

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie... and cats, too.

2008-06-12T21:18:00.000-04:00

This Rocket dog is no Alpha. In fact, he is p-whipped, seen here sleeping soundly with Trouble Cat, his true master. Bwaaahahahahahahaha!

"Dogs and cats, living together!"
Dr. Venkman - Ghost Busters

The Bard as Prophet

2008-06-10T10:24:00.000-04:00

Today, my iGoogle gadget served up the following insult:

"Hence, horrible villain, or I'll spurn thine eyes like balls before me; I'll unhair thy head, Thou shalt be whipp'd with wire, and stew'd'in brine, smarting in lingering pickle."

LINGERING PICKLE...? Isn't that how they killed the Terminator in Part 2? His only weakness was pickle juice and the final battle happened at the Vlassic factory amongst the gherkins? NO?!

Maybe it was just my imagination...

Happy B-Day to Me!

2008-06-07T21:54:00.000-04:00

Thanks to everyone at the TUN TAVERN in Atlantic City for making my birthday a night to remember (even though I don't remember some of it). The Leather Neck Stout has a higher alcohol content than my favorite Guiness Stout, so what can you do? Y'all can meet me there sometime and we'll see what kind of trouble we can get into.

Is It Funnier with PICTURES?!

2008-06-04T21:36:00.000-04:00

Another iGoogle moment.
>>>

iGoogle Me This, Batman

2008-06-03T14:39:00.000-04:00

I have placed two gadgets on my iGoogle page - Quotes from Confucius and The Shakespearean Insult of the Day.

They combine beautifully. For example, yesterday offered this gem...

"When beginning a journey of revenge, dig two graves. You cockered, fat-kidneyed horn-beast!"

Sweet!

WizArD WoRld PiX - YAHOO!

2008-06-02T22:15:00.000-04:00

OK so we had a blast being comic book geeks and I saw everything I came for and more...

Philadelphia Here We Come

2008-05-30T14:50:00.000-04:00

Taking a little trip to Wizard World in Philadelphia - billed as the "BIGGEST AND BEST WIZARD WORLD EVER." (which is what they said the last time we attended) What to look for...

1 - Chicks in chainmail (haven't really seen this since E3 in LA)
2 - Godzilla toys (saw a tabletop lighter last show that rocked)
3 - Anything STAR WARS (Yahoo!)
4 - Chicks in spandex ('Nuff said)
5 - Overweight geeks in spandex (UGH)
6 - Anime, manga, and more anime (Naruto, Bleach, Death Note, D Gray Man)
7 - Toys, toys, toys (who needs Santa Claus?! - HEY! I do! Sorry Santa...)

I am going to start adding photos and hope to bring back some good ones! I may be getting too old for comic book conventions, but I am always ready to do my part to support the nation's failing economy. Yeah right...?!

Blog Your Blues Away

2008-02-27T14:16:00.000-05:00

So strange - writing a blog that no one ever reads or comments on! This is total blog-sturbation and bloggity blog blog blogging. I love that word - BLOGGITY! Are you feeling BLOGGITY? Then you had better take two aspirins and blog me in the morning.

I once heard a man speaking on his cell phone and using the word F*$@ like a noun, pro-noun, adjective, verb - YOU NAME IT! Sort of like, "You tell that f-ing sorry f-er that he can f-ing f himself and his f-ing family and f-itty f f-er f-ing f-cetera!"

NICE! That takes some f-ing skill!

Monster Trucks

2008-02-18T14:14:00.000-05:00

So we travelled to see the Monster Trucks. Don't ask me why, but I did not buy tickets in advance. Who would have thought that they would sell out?

But the SCALPERS had tix for the show! Bastards! Double the going rate for nose bleed seats! Gimme three...?

On second thought, a little trip back into Philly. Tea and biscuits at the Borders. Hanging out on Chestnut Street. To hell with Monster Trucks.

OH and buy tix in advance next time.

California Rocks

2008-02-10T12:35:00.000-05:00

WOW! I love this place. Being surrounded by mountains and palm trees and celebrities is just tooooo coooool. It can instantly make you wonder what it would be like to live there, love there, work there, be there and CALIFORNIA HERE I COME!

I have not taken my sunglasses off since arriving. I thought it was the law!

So just call me Hollywood. It's back to the surf and sand of South Jersey tomorrow, but who knows what tonight may bring?!

Maybe I can find some trouble and wind up on TMZ!

Mr. Trump sez "You're FIRED"

2008-02-06T08:01:00.000-05:00

Modern marvels of science have allowed miserable managers to say YOU'RE FIRED to me without actually making eye contact. I have been fired by email, FAX transmission and voicemail. Since I hadn't checked my voicemail, I actually sat through two meetings with the manager and he couldn't even get up the courage to say "Hey buddy! Did you check your voicemail?"

At least the FAX was left on my chair. I sat on it for awhile, but managed to discover it before lunch. Since no one officially fired me, I stayed three more days before the manager said "Hey buddy! Didn't you get the FAX?"

Get UP you sleepy head!

2008-02-05T08:05:00.000-05:00

Sometimes, I think the best job I could ever get would be a mattress tester. You have to show up for work and punch in and fall asleep immediately. Then you wake up at the end of your shift, fill out a survey and "see you tomorrow." You sleep right through lunch!

ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz.... huh, what?!

Welcome Back to Blogging

2008-02-05T00:15:00.000-05:00

What?! Is it time to try this again? That is awesome!

Just because we are all living in a Web 2.0 world, I knew I had to blog again.

In a "not just happy to silently rant in emails to friends and family anymore" kind of way, I must blurt it to the world kind of blog again.

AND WHY NOT?! I know how to change FONT STYLES for emphasis and I know how to sign in and what more could you ask? Other than a point of view and maybe a spell checker...

So we all must blog on, and link, and comment, and email and build some FLASH banners and a database of subscribers kind of blogging way.

Maybe I'll publish some kind of list, or maybe a joke or some kind of observation. YEAH! But whatever it is, it will be done in a less than random sort of more than sporadically semi-regular way!